That Burnt Paper....

"It's over" he said and walked away. No explanations, no reasons.  Did not wait to hear Goodbye as well. He knew, that's one word she would never be able to say. 

Drowned in her own pool of tears, she stood there for a long time, waiting for him to come back and say "I will never let go of you again". She waited for herself to say "Thank god it was only a dream" but her eyes were wide open. Everything seemed to be fading out even the sound of her own heartbeat.

NUMB!!! Was she dead? Already? But, she had just started to live. She cant be dying without having him around. He had promised to hold her till the end. Yet there she was, all alone, plunged into a deep silence... a silence too loud to hear anything else other than "Its over" 

Deep inside, she could feel something breaking, but what? Was it her heart or her blind trust or her  dreams...probably it was all of these, the pieces of which now started to sting her eyes making her realise its all for real. The dream she had been living for years, was over. 

Time continued to move on, but she stood stuck in that one moment. And stuck with her, were those shattered dreams, her broken heart, some unanswered questions and dark memories. 

Years gone by, but the endless wait continued. Gradually the pain was replaced by anger and anger replaced by self-scoldings. Mornings would start with a promise to be strong, but nights would witness those promises breaking down in tears. Will she be able to say "Its Over" ever? Letting go was not easy for her, for it meant letting go of her own self. 

One day, tired of being strong, she opened her clenched fist and for the first time let go of all that she was holding back, even the last tear drop!!!!

"Its Over.....Goodbye", was all she said and smiled.

Meanwhile, far away, a man burnt in his own fire everyday. With him everyday, burnt a small piece of paper that read.....

"I am sorry!! I will never let go of you again"

Broken Promises....

And that's a six! Voila!!!

Hey all you not so big cricket fans, don't go away yet. This Blog is not about cricket. That is just my source of entertainment as my Blackberry is being pampered in the meanwhile. Well, my BB likes to stay updated too. And why not, after all its my only friend here in this dry land... Er whats dry land? Will blog about it too some other time.

So yeah, coming back to my best friend here, I love it to death and cant live without it. Yes, I am addicted to my mobile. I sleep with it, I wake up with it, I eat with it. (My one eye always on it to check if  the light blinked. The other is always checking if my parents are looking at me or not.) 
Dirty secret- I take that with me to play games while cleaning up my system too. *rolling eyes*

Oh now that I am writing this down, I realise how addicted I am to my BB. I can already feel so restless and frustrated while its being upgraded. Cant even touch it. Oh blimey! Now that is definitely a reason to be depressed and have a chocolate :p

On deeper thoughts, since when did my mobile replace my books? My books which helped me sleep with beautiful stories, they kept me company when I was bored sitting alone in the metros. They were there on those beautiful hill stations when I wanted to just relax and unwind. To the matter of fact, I would often go off to my dream world, holding my book in my arms.

And then entered my phone in my life with all those glamorous looks and beautiful features.  Who wouldn't fall in love with those. So naive of me, I couldn't foresee what I was getting into and gave all my time to my new love... Yes i ditched my first love, my books *damn*

My new love never reciprocated my feelings, yet I was willing to do anything to stay close to him. He always got me traced when I didn't want to, disturbed me when i wanted to be left alone and often made me feel miserable with those past memories. Then how was I still so much in love with it? Like a mean lover it makes it impossible for me to live without it and when I try to, it will sing those beautiful songs and pull me back.

But ENOUGH now!!! No more of it. Its time I get back to my books. Poor them!!! They have been neglected enough. Oh I feel so bad and guilty for ignoring them now. Like a true lover, these books still wait for me to hold them and complete them....

Will do it NOW, I promise!!

*Pop up! Your phone has been upgraded with the latest features*

Yaay finally.. Yippeeeee :D Let me check these features and I shall get back to you all :)

'The book just lifted, goes back to the shelf!!!!!'

Story of a Night!!!

Like every night I was there in my balcony engulfed in the silence of the night. Often those memories would come and greet me. Sometimes with a smile, sometimes with a tear and sometimes with an anger that I myself was scared of.

But tonight before I could meet those memories, a guilty thought just ripped me apart.

The guilt of cheat and betray....I was once again betraying my soul.

Shattered with my own thought, I returned to the silence of the night unaware of the game it had planned for me. I could feel myself going in two different directions. Questions started to attack me and there was no place to hide. Where does one really go when your own soul starts to question you?  

The night had come prepared to take me down, but I was determined to stay strong as well. The silence around me was pulling me to those dark alleys of the days gone by.

And suddenly there it was, those eyes looking at me, those hands holding my hand and assuring me, telling me  "I will not let you fall again". I smiled and closed my eyes surrendering myself to my present and the future awaiting me. 

The past has to go. Determined to let it go, I tell myself 'its over', the night is over, the nightmare is over, that love is over..... and then a voice comes from within me.... "Is it really over???"

With tears in my eyes, I go back to the balcony and wait for the wind to take me away, far far away..............probably to those days again!!!

Another night loses the battle!!!