In Your Absence.....

It was a cold and foggy day. Temperature was not more than eight degrees. Tugging her jacket closer to her body Ruma walked towards the coffee- book shop across the street. This small book shop was one of her favourite spots in this town. She would often go there during her free time, pick up a book and read it while sipping on her coffee. Sometimes, she would just sit there, looking out of the window and then writing something in her small diary. 

Ruma had been visiting this bookshop from past five years and nothing had changed about it. The lay out was same, the smell of that home-made coffee was same, the old man at the counter, the chairs, the smell of the old and new books… everything. The only thing that changed was her appearance. Her big eyes were now covered behind glasses; the ageing was visible in her grey strands. Yet anyone who saw her would say she was still beautiful. She had something secretive about her that would attract people towards her. But she never reciprocated.

“Hello Ruma di, where have you been? Been two weeks, there is a new book on shelf. It was running out so I saved a copy for you”, said the young boy who helped the old man manage the shop. He handed over the book to Ruma with an excited and proud grin on his face... Ruma looked at the book and smiled. “Thank you” and headed towards the same table she had been sitting on since past so many years. She enjoyed the solitude of that corner. “Should I send your special cup of coffee Di”? Ruma smiled and nodded again. In all these years, Ruma never indulged in conversations, but she was never rude too. She would simply smile and immerse herself in books. There was something about her smile and eyes that said a lot but no one could ever decipher what. Those deep eyes had many secrets, just like the sea. They spoke stories of love, loss and life.

For Ruma, her time at the shop was magical. She would totally forget the whole world and get lost in the stories she would read. She would often think of herself as one of the characters in the story and read the rest of the story living it in real in her mind. Putting her specs on, she picked up her book when she suddenly saw someone sitting on the chair in the other corner. He was looking at her and their eyes met. Chill passed through her body and her face went pale... Ruma went blank and could see the man coming towards her.

“Hi Ruma, am so happy. I had given up all my hopes of meeting you ever again. I know everything about you and I knew it you would wait for me.” Siddharth said this in one breath as if he would never get this chance again. Ruma could see that he was excited, but she was still trying to figure out what she felt.

It had been five long years, since she last saw him. She noticed, he had gone weak. Age had definitely taken a toll on him. His hair were all ruffled up and had a smoky touch. Even then he still looked as handsome to her as he did some years back.

“Fine”, she said meekly. Sid noticed those beautiful eyes ….but he also saw some questions hiding in those eyes. Would he be able to answer those?

Both were unable to continue the conversation further, yet there was something still holding them together there in that moment. Ruma offered him a chair next to hers and sat in silence looking outside the window. One could say that both were eager to know about each other, yet unable to speak... When two people meet after years, silence often replace words.

Finally Sid, broke the silence and started telling her about his life and how he missed her all these years. Ruma was listening to nothing. She kept staring at the book kept in front of her. He told her about his failed relationships, his mistakes, his joys, his sorrows and finally his regret....of leaving her. Ruma continued to sit in silence...still staring at the book.

Ruma’s thoughts went back to the day when she saw him last waving his hand bidding goodbye at the airport. He was leaving for US for three years.
Like two people in love they made promises too. One promised to come back, the other promised to wait. "Take care, Ru", was the last message he sent her before he switched off his mobile in the aircraft.

Those three years never got over, their relationship did. She never heard from him again, but she did hear about him being in a relationship with her best friend there. He had promised her he would never make those beautiful eyes cry. He didn’t know in his absence that is exactly what she did … all these years.

Sid was not able to take her silence. He didn’t know what else to say. He just wanted her back now. Putting his hand on hers, he looked into her eyes for a yes. But there was nothing there. Her deep brown eyes were now vacant. 

A tear dropped from her eye. Ruma knew this was the moment. Wiping that off her face, she smiled and started walking towards the exit. 

"Ru please don't go.....”

"Take care, Sid". Ruma walked out of the shop and didn’t look back again. 

The cage was broken and her soul was set free. She was happy. She told herself she deserved to be. Now she refused to let her happiness depend on anyone but herself. Life was opening up to her...and she was going to embrace it whole heartedly.

  

Sid stood there in silence. Speechless! Shocked! His gaze fell on the book kept in front of him...

The title read... “In Your Absence", a collection of poems by 'Ru'

He turned the page and read the first page……..Sid knew in that moment that this time he had lost her forever.

“I see a new beginning. I see the light. I see some positivity. I see me in me.....I forgive thee”

Photo Courtesy: Bobby Roy