That Rainy Day...........

Long after they both hung up, Maahi was still awake, listening to rain drops and thunderstorm with a heavy heart. Sleep was nowhere close to her eyes. Her mind was nowhere close to her present. Her heart was not with her at all. It was still there, somewhere in past holding on to the best memories of her life. Memories she wanted to let go of now but for some reason was not able to. The moment she would think of letting go of those memories, it would kill her as if her soul was being taken away from her.

But tonight, she didn’t know what to do. She was not able to understand if this was a dream or the dream was finally over and she is back to reality. After all that longing and waiting, she heard what she had wanted to hear for long. "Can we meet once?” Manik was visiting her town for work and he wanted to meet her but to her surprise she didn't know what to do. She wanted to say yes, but her mind said no. The struggle within her had begun again.

Six years had passed since they parted their ways on that rainy day. It was a mutual separation, a divorce where no abuses were hurled, no explanations demanded and no reasons given. He asked for it, and she signed the papers without any questions. Their friends said it was a painless divorce but only Maahi knew the pain she had been through in those six years.

Ending a twelve year old relationship was not easy for her. But she had to pick up those fallen pieces somewhere and gather herself again.  As they say nothing lasts forever, not even the pain. Time heals everything and one must allow oneself to move on. After living a hellish life for almost 6 years, she was now ready to start afresh. And yet here she was, contemplating the option of meeting him. She finally told him that she will not be able to meet him. Manik was taken aback with the answer and all he could tell her to think over it once and that he would call her while he is there.

She didn't know how long she sat there thinking about all this. She didn’t know in between she had a smile on her lips for a while and a few moments later she had those tears which she had held back for long. That one call from him made her re-think her decision of never to see him again. Just one call and she was all ready to go back, back to the same betrayal, same indifference and same person. She was all excited again to see him....6 long years and nothing had changed in her. She probably still felt the same, what she felt 6 years back.

It was a rainy day. Standing at her window, holding a cup of tea in her hands, she was lost in her own thoughts. Once again she was rehearsing in her mind what she would say when she meets Manik. Even though she had said no, she was sure he would call her. She knew him well and had started expecting the call from him. She had decided she will not go weak in knees in front of him and make him realise what he had lost. She will seek all her answers now...questions that she never asked and he never bothered to answer.

Since that call last week, Maahi’s impatience had grown. She would check her phone every now and then hoping to see some message or a missed call. She was still lost in her thoughts when her phone beeped. It was a message from Manik. Colour drained her face due to nervousness yet she was excited enough like a small kid. 

"In the aircraft, leaving your town. Will never bother you again. Goodbye forever… Manik”

She stood still looking out of the window, with rain drops splashing her face. Nobody could make out if those were tears or the raindrops on her face streaming down.

Everything was same as it was six years back. The rain, the heart break, the loneliness…even the question running on her mind was same, “How can you leave like this?” Once again the mind was mocking the heart….."You think you know him??"

'The question never got answered..the heart remained silent'

Discarded Dreams

Coming out of her office that evening, Ria was on cloud nine. It was pouring heavily but she couldn’t care less. It was a day she had waited for so long. Keeping her letter safely in the bag, she entered the metro station full of people trying to rush back home. Everything looked same still she felt it was all different today. The crowd didn’t irritate her, long queues seemed shorter and the loud noise just didn’t affect her. 

Oblivious to all, she was lost in her own world... a world she had always imagined. She had just been promoted and was getting a brilliant opportunity to move to another country for 2 years. It was a dream position and if she takes it, sky was the limit. With this new role, she will be able to fulfil all her dreams and also make a name for herself.Beaming with Pride, she told herself, "Now nothing can stop me from flying".

But when is life that simple? God has his own games planned and there is a test awaiting us at every corner.

Her gaze fell on her finger and there it was. A big rock! Ria felt herself crashing down from the 7^th heaven. She was getting married in a few months and there was no way Sahil would move with her. He had recently got his promotion and was doing pretty well for himself.

For Ria and Sahil, the wedding was no less than a dream come true. After having a long distance relationship for 5 years, they were finally getting married. For them, this was no less than fighting a huge battle.

Their families belonged to different backgrounds and getting their parents approval was no less than winning a war. They often had major fights during long distance, but their love for each other bound them together. As they say, love wins all and they did get their families to agree for their marriage.

The jerk of the metro got her back to reality. She felt her dreams being crushed right in front of her eyes. She can’t leave her life here and go away. She had worked hard for this. But didn’t she work hard for this project too? After many sleepless nights and toiling hard at work, she had finally managed to get one of the biggest clients on board. At such a young age, she had made her name in the industry but that couldn’t stop her from achieving more in life. She was an ambitious girl who had pushed herself to limits to come so far.

How can she let go of this opportunity at this stage now??

Ria decided to discuss the matter with Sahil. “I am sure Sahil will understand me and let me take this opportunity”. Just thinking of Sahil brought smile to her droopy face. As she dialled his number, she could feel the nervousness which she usually felt when she had to take permission for something so dear to her and feared a No in response.

Sahil couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was stunned with the fact that something else could be so important to Ria other than him. Did she actually say, “Let’s postpone our wedding”? For Sahil, this day was everything. For the first time, he could feel the distance between them. Sahil was seeing this ambitious Ria after ages. He knew she had big dreams in life but never thought those dreams would actually kill his dreams or rather their dreams.

Their strong love was giving up and differences had started to creep in. Ria was becoming more adamant on not letting the opportunity go while Sahil was accusing her of not loving him anymore. 

The day came, when anger took over their love. After a long fight, in that one moment of anger, Ria decided to just go away and accepted the offer made by her company. When she told Sahil about this, he was too furious to say anything and his ego didn't allow him to stop her from going.. Neither did she wait for him to call her back, nor did he ask her to stop. Turning back for one last time, she just said, "I will mail you tonight" and then left. Sahil stood there staring in infinity, not knowing what to do, blood boiling in him and mind too boggled to think anything.....Only thing he could feel was anger.

"Son, what are you doing on your laptop at this hour, everyone is waiting for you outside. Come out soon”. Sahil could see that excitement on his mom’s face which for some reason he couldn’t feel. He actually felt nothing at the moment.

Three years had passed since that night and he was still waiting for that mail from Ria… But tonight he was getting married, again a decision made in anger.  “Just one mail Ria and I promise to give up all right now for you, please” Sahil spoke his heart finally, realising what he was doing was not what he wanted. For years he had waited for that one mail, he had wanted that one mail...but there was nothing. His eyes filled with pain and emotions that were hard to understand for anyone.

It was early morning in Ireland, but Ria knew the morning she had been waiting for will never come again. Three years had passed and she had not heard from Sahil.  Knowing him well, she knew she wouldn’t ever, for his ego was too big.
The decision they made in anger had costed them both a beautiful life they could have had together. Now only loneliness.She missed him every moment and wished every day to turn back her life to what it was with him. 

With several memories etched on her mind, she read that mail again, which she could never sent. The mail that she had prepared three years ago still lay there in her drafts. Unable to take that pain anymore, she decided to finally send that mail, when she received a message from a friend.

“Sahil is getting married tonight, you still have time.”

Did she? Can they get back to each other? But, life was no Bollywood movie, and such things only happen in movies. Life was in fact what we never imagined it to be.. The decisions that you make stay forever. But may be if she sends the mail, life could shower her with happiness again.

Sitting in that silence, she made up her mind. Ria read that mail for the last time and finally clicked with moist eyes.

"Your draft has been discarded", read the message on her screen.

With that draft, some dreams were discarded too……forever!!!